I had a little epiphany in the night.
My daughter had woken up (she is doing that about once a night off and on) and I was hoping my husband would volunteer to take care of her "this time". He didn't budge, either he was sound asleep or was pretending to be, ha! If Andrew was up, he was probably thinking the same thing I was. I hope Amber gets her this time.
Then, it came to me what if we both choose to do what we want the other person to do for us? What if we lived like that? Instead of wanting and expecting my husband to get up in the middle of the night, I will just do it. So, I did. And I wasn't grumpy about it. I actually felt good about it. When we woke up I shared the thought with him: When we wish our spouse could read our mind and we wish they would do something for us, instead of getting bugged, we will just do it for them. He said "Yeah." In agreement. The next thing I knew he was getting up with the kids, letting me sleep in. Awesome! Which means he probably wanted to sleep in, so I think I will return the favor tomorrow :).
This shift is essentially: Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. Matt 7:12a "The golden rule" as it has been dubbed became very real and applicable to me. Instead of being selfish, expecting my husband to read my mind and do something, I can just save a lot of time and stress and do it for him. Being kind and choosing to put his needs before mine initiates a cycle of generosity, helpfulness and selflessness. The more helful I am, the more he reciprocates that with me. But it has to start with someone.