I read a few blog posts today, one of my friend sharing her real thoughts of her struggles, another post was by guy who was encouraging moms to not compare themselves to other moms that appear to live perfect lives with no problems. I say "appear", because everyone struggles.
I decided today I wanted to share my real struggle over the last few weeks.
LIFE....life doesn't always go as expected. Today we had to cancel Drew's family birthday party....well, we actually had to postpone it. He didn't seem to care (Grandma let him open a gift anyway), I was a bit bummed though, been working on decorations all week and set it all up last night. Several family members are under the weather and Drew is just getting over a cold of 3 weeks! Honestly, it has really discouraged me, we had to miss things, he woke up every night several times a night, I was tired, it was cold outside, Emma got sick, lots of crying, lots of coughing, lots of prayers for healing and uninterrupted sleep, just not the greatest of circumstances. At one time I found myself bugged at God, saying "Why is this happening to me, won't you do something?!" Of course then I felt bad later that I had questioned him, in a disrespectful way. Ahhhhh! Very thankful for his forgiveness and mercy!!
I was truly feeling an attack, physically, emotionally, spiritually. "We live in a world that will kick your teeth in" as my pastor often says. But there is one thing that I know, in everything I face, I need to remember that God, my God LOVES me, He has got me, He is with me, He is faithful to me and He has a call on my life, a plan to prosper and not harm me.
I am reading Nehemiah right now, he felt a calling from God to go build the wall around Jerusalem that had been torn down and destroyed. The wall is the main defense against the attack of the enemy. And if your wall is down, the enemy is "kicking your teeth in". Discouragement, stress and focusing on the negatives began tearing my wall of protection down and the enemy was having a "hay day". The call God has on my life was put on halt while I was discouraged, but I was encouraged tonight when I read how Nehemiah responded to threats and opposition "I am carrying on a great project and cannot go down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and go down to you?" Nehemiah 6:3 And he went on to say this about the enemy "They were all trying to frighten us, thinking "Their hands will get too weak for the work, and it will not be completed." But I Prayed, "Now strengthen my hands." 6:9, and in verse 15, the work had been completed. I thought it was great that he would not be moved from his work or go down to the enemies level, or believe their lies. See the enemy tried to use scare tactics to get him to stop and hoped that Nehemiah would get so tired or discouraged that the would not be strong enough to finish. Nehemiah, however, decided to believe God, and go to Him for strength.
So, I can either let the discouragement and distractions take me away from my ministry as a wife, mom, friend, or I can remember the truth, that God has called me to this work, that he is faithful to complete it and pray to Him for strength continually. And if He has called me, He isn't leaving me, He will equip me, sometimes I just need to ask for help and keep my focus fixed on Jesus. I may have problems, but I know THE problem-solver.